Perfection

“In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they’re still beautiful.” – Alice Walker

I am currently reading ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ by Louise L. Hay, again. It’s one of those books you need to read once, and the second time you read it you need to do all the exercises.  And being the proud father of a 10 month old I seem to look at life slightly differently and notice things I didn’t notice in the past. Below is a passage from the book that didn’t have as much meaning to me the first time I read it, (before young Adam arrived).

The Perfection of Babies

How perfect you were when you were a tiny baby. Babies do not have to do anything to become perfect; they already are perfect, and they act as if they know it. They know they are the center of the Universe. They are not afraid to ask for what they want. They freely express their emotions. You know when a baby is angry-in fact, the whole neighbourhood knows. You also know when babies are happy, for their smiles light up a room. They are full of love.
Tiny babies will die if they do not get love. Once we are older, we learn to live without love, but babies will not stand for it. Babies also love every part of their bodies, even their own feces. They have incredible courage.
You were like that. We were all like that. Then we began to listen to adults around us who had learned to be fearful, and we began to deny our own magnificence.
I never believe it when clients try to convince me how terrible they are, or how unlovable they are. My work is to bring them back to the time when they knew how to really love themselves.
-Louise L. Hay

I believe perfection is a relative term. A painter will paint a picture and only display it once he/she believes it is perfect, and someone else will come along and criticize that same painting. So this article will mean different things to different people.

I am magnificent!

We were all born perfect, or magnificent. And as we got older we were bombarded with all sorts of concepts of how we should behave, what we should and shouldn’t do or say, how we should dress, what we should strive for, etc. And the bombarding still continues today, the media circus continually portrays images of how we should look, what we should eat, etc.

When nobody around you seems to measure up, it’s time to check your yardstick.  – Bill Lemley

I am continually amazed at how we are always comparing ourselves to other people, even people we have never met. We are all unique, so why the comparison? Most of us are taught this at a very young age, especially when we are misbehaving. Our parents would say something like, ‘Look at so & so, you don’t see them misbehaving’, or, ‘why can’t you be more like him/her.’ Our parents aren’t to blame for this, it’s just the way things are done these days, but we have the power to change how things are done.

Being a parent I am becoming more and more aware of the immense responsibility I have in determining what type person young Adam will become, and how the things I say and the way I behave will affect his concept of life. I believe the best thing I can do is be an example to him. It’s no good I tell him one thing and do another. Actually, the same applies to anyone who has any form of leadership role; a director, a manager, a teacher, etc. Lead by what we do, not by what we say.

So, by believing in our own magnificence, we can influence those close to us in immensely positive ways. And I don’t mean we should strut around with our chests puffed out and be all arrogant. I mean we should humbly get on with life knowing we were created perfect, and that all those around us were created perfect. And any imperfections we see can be changed, after all, they weren’t there when we were born.

Something else I read, ‘What is a concept but a thought to which it’s maker gives meaning of his own?’ – A Course in Miracles

Our self concepts can be changed at any time we want them to, it’s really just a matter of belief.

So next time you look in the mirror say, ‘I am magnificent!‘, and do this every time you look in the mirror, because YOU are!

Achieving balance

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving” – Albert Einstein

Towards the end of last year I wrote an article about balance and one of my readers mentioned a ‘Life Balance Wheel’. Having only heard about it in passing conversation I did a bit of research, as I usually do. It’s a very useful tool for finding out how balanced our life currently is. Think of it as a bicycle wheel with each spoke representing an aspect of life. The center point represents ‘0′, meaning that aspect of life is not satisfactory, and the outer point represents ‘10′, meaning that aspect of life is perfect.

By making a dot at each spoke, and then joining the dots we will soon see how balanced our life really is. A balanced life would look like wheel, perfectly round, which would indicate a ’smooth’ ride through life. An unbalanced life would have an odd shape, which would indicate a ‘bumpy’ ride through life. Below are examples, with the ’smooth’ ride on the left and the ‘bumpy’ ride on the right.

There are numerous balance wheels around, all with life broken up into different categories. The one below I find to be the most complete, (if you believe there is something missing, please let me know).

• Relationship with Spouse / Partner (if you don’t have a spouse / partner, don’t put a dot here)
• Relationships with Family. (mom, dad, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc.)
• Relationships with Others. (friends, colleagues, team mates, etc)
• Fun / Leisure / Recreation. (arts & music, hobbies, travel, reading, etc.)
• Physical Health / Fitness. (sport, nutrition, stress reduction, etc.)
• Intellectual Stimulation. (learning, conversing, etc.)
• Emotional Well-Being. (self esteem, happiness, etc.)
• Spirituality / Religion (morals & ethics, life purpose, relationship with God, etc.)
• Physical Environment. (place of work, home, etc.)
• Volunteer Work / Contribution / Environment. (charities, church, recycling, etc.)
• Finances. (financial planning, financial beliefs, etc.)
• Work / Career. (career planning, business skills, etc.)

So print out the wheel above, (just click on the picture to enlarge it), fill it in and get a clearer picture of life as it currently is. If it is out of balance, don’t judge it, it isn’t good or bad, right or wrong, it’s just the way life is at the moment. Negative emotions will not change anything, so lovingly accept life, and decide to make changes if needed.

Firstly we need to look at our wheel and decide which aspects we feel need attention. These will be different for all of us, as we are all unique individuals.
Next we need to ask ourselves the following questions about each aspect. (I suggest writing the answers down, for reference purposes in the future.)

• What do I want this aspect of my life to  look like?
• What would I see if I could magically change this aspect overnight?
• What would have to be different in this area of my life in order for me to create the happiness I am looking for?
• What stands in the way of me achieving my goals? (a situation, another person, myself, etc.)

Once you have answered all these questions, set a goal or an intention to achieve or create it. Then start taking small steps towards your goal.

We all have the ability to live the life of our dreams, we just need to get in touch with our inner power, and if we feel we have given that power away, it’s time to get it back.

Have fun doing this little exercise, and have fun making any changes necessary. When it stops being fun, we generally stop doing it.

Until next time…

“Your point of power is always in the present moment.” – Louise L. Hay

Ho, Ho, Ho…

Merry Christmas everyone!

“For it is in giving that we receive.” – St. Francis of Assisi

Well, it’s that time of year again, the season to be jolly…tra-la-la-la, tra-la-la-la, la-la-la….

And do we know why we usually feel so jolly around this time of year? Because we are giving gifts to our loved ones, and that feels REALLY good. Last year around this time I wrote an article titled Giving, (read it here), and there are a few things I would like to change and add.

I mentioned that it saddened me that we only give gifts around this time of year, and while I still feel we should give throughout the year, I’m grateful we have this time of year to remind us how it feels to give, imagine not having it at all and a  lot of the article was also focused on the giving of love, but I forgot to mention the most precious gift of all, time.

Financially it’s been a rough year for a lot of us, so if you aren’t able to give the gifts you really want to, give of your time, it’s the one thing money can’t buy, and the one thing we cannot replace. I learn such a lot from my son Adam, he is too young to understand the whole concept of christmas, and too young to give me any gifts, yet he gives me the most precious gift he can on a daily basis, his smile, and he gives it freely, expecting nothing in return.

“You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.” – P. J. O’Rourke

Next year I will continue with my articles where I left off last time, Balance…, so have an awesome Christmas and a wonderful New Year, and hopefully one of your resolutions will be to become the best YOU on the planet.

“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” – Anthony Robbins

Balance

“Fortunate indeed, is the man who takes exactly the right measure of himself, and holds a just balance between what he can acquire and what he can use.” – Peter Mere Latham

So I am finally writing the article on the matter that is very close to my heart.

The article is titled ‘Balance’, but sadly I am writing it because of all the imbalances in our world.

Firstly, one of the dictionary definitions of balance: A harmonious or satisfying arrangement or proportion of parts or elements, as in a design.

I have to assume that you agree with the fact that our universe was designed and not some huge cosmic accident. Something this complex and mind-boggling could not have been an accident.

Do we have balance in our lives? Well, on average we work for 8 hours a day and sleep for 7. That leaves 9 hours, of which 1 is for traveling, (if you are lucky), 1 hour for getting ready for work and 1 hour for breakfast and supper, (again, if you are lucky). That leaves 6 hours of ‘free’ time, and if you have children you can halve that. So, and I’m being extremely conservative here, we give 8 hours a day to our boss / customers and we have 3-6 hours for ourselves. And this is in an ideal day, I don’t know of many people who have that much ‘free’ time. Does this seem balanced to you?

So why do we do it? Well, we need to live don’t we? Yes, if you call this living…

I don’t quite know when it all started, but we do it because we don’t know of any other way, it’s what our parents did, and what their parents did, ans so on…

We believe that we need to work hard to earn money, so that we can provide what we believe is best for ourselves and our family, and in turn teach our children to live unbalanced lives, just like we are??? It seems we are becoming increasingly materialistic, we define ourselves by the size of our house, what type of car we drive, what clothes we wear, who we associate with, etc… And to get all this, we sacrifice quality family time.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting the best for ourselves and our family, it’s our God-given right. But when it starts affecting our family life and / or our health, then the balance is all wrong. What we need to try and remember is that when we end our time here on planet earth, we leave all our material possessions behind, and we won’t be remembered for the things we accumulated, we’ll be remembered for the things we did and the lives we touched. When you think of someone close to you who has passed on, do you think of what they had or what they did?

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.” – Brian Tracy

And then there is our home, planet earth. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day we are destroying it. Us so-called ‘intelligent’ beings who were put in charge. Would you start breaking down your house brick by brick, knowing that someday your house will be gone? Because that’s what we are doing to our planet at the moment. We might say that our planet won’t be destroyed in our generation, so why should we care. But I find this an extremely irresponsible & selfish attitude to have, yet sadly most of us have adopted it. And how do we know it won’t happen in our generation, did you know you would be reading this article today?

An example of our total disregard for our planet and everything we share it with. Close to where I live they have just cut down all the trees and leveled the land so they can start building houses for us ’superior’ beings. In doing this we have destroyed a number of ecosystems, without even blinking. To put it in perspective, it’s like a ’superior’ race out there somewhere in space destroying planet earth because it is in the way of a new intergalactic highway. How barbaric would that be?

It seems to me we have become a species of takers, we take without giving anything back and no longer live a balanced life with ‘mother’ earth. (When I first started writing my articles, I wrote one titled ‘Save our home’ which shares my view on our current lack of balance with ‘mother’ earth. Read it here…)

“Brought into right relationships with the wilderness, man would see that his appropriation of Earth’s resources beyond his personal needs would only bring imbalance and begat ultimate loss and poverty by all.” – John Muir

And lastly, how much time do we spend on ourselves? And I don’t mean our outer appearances, I’m talking about our true selves, the self we seem to have lost contact with, our spiritual self. Most of us have such busy lives that we tend to neglect our health, physically and spiritually. And when we do have time to ourselves we sit and stare at our television.

So how do we achieve balance? If I had the answer I think I’d be one of the most sought after speakers in the world. The way things are currently, achieving balance requires great discipline, but it is possible. We need to take responsibility for our own lives and stop waiting for something to happen before we actually wake up.

• Start spending more quality time with your family, your whole family.
• Start spending more quality time with yourself, you’ll be amazed at what you learn about yourself.
• And start giving something back to ‘mother’ earth; recycle, plant some trees, etc.

If we all start doing little things, they add up to big things, and the scale starts to look horizontal again. We all have immense power within us, let’s start using it correctly…

“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man.” – Euripides (Greek playwright, c. 480-406 BC)

Cholesterol, the truth at last…

“So many people spend their health gaining wealth, and then have to spend their wealth to regain their health.” – A. J. Reb Materi

YOUR health is in YOUR hands...

I mentioned in my last post I was going to be writing about something very close to my heart, this IS NOT that article, although this article does have something to do with the heart…

I have a few friends and family members who have high cholesterol, I might even have it too, (I think it’s time to get it checked), anyway, I happened to read an interesting article on the topic.

As many of my friends know, I am not a big fan of the big drug companies, simply because I believe they are greedy. They do what they do to make money, NOT to help people with their health, although their brilliant marketing & advertising departments / agencies do a wonderful job of helping us believe otherwise.

So how do we know these articles are truth and not just another marketing campaign? Well, we don’t, that’s why we have our own beliefs and intuition. The reason I believe these articles is the my belief in God. Anything us humans seem to touch or interfere with usually turns out ugly, which is exactly what has happened to our food. Eat what God has created for us to eat, and that means we need to eat organic fruits and vegetables, free range chicken & fish and natural, hormone free red meat, which for some strange reason is more expensive than processed food.

Anyway, read the articles and decide for yourself, just click on the links below…

Heart Surgeon Admits Huge Mistake! – by Dwight Lundell MD 02/03/2009

Heart Surgeon Admits Huge Mistake Part 2 – by Dwight Lundell MD 02/06/2009

“Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.”  Buddha

“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” -  Mahatma Gandhi

Distractions

“Happiness can only be found if you can free yourself of all other distractions.” – Saul Bellow

Walking Tyson in the park, 30 October 2009

In my previous article I asked the question ‘what do YOU think is the biggest distraction in YOUR life at the moment?‘, and was quite surprised by the answers I received. Most of them related to work, and after pondering it for a while it became obvious to me, we spend most of our life at work, so that’s where our focus seems to be.

I am therefore going to split this article in two sections, distractions at work and at home.

In my opinion there are only 2 major distractions at work, email & internet, and office politics.

How often have you thought, ‘let me quickly check my email’, and after replying to a few and forwarding a few a couple of hours have passed? Or you go onto the web to look for something and get totally engrossed in something else? The only way to control how you use your time emailing and surfing the web is through self-discipline. There are many methods for using your time more productively, but it always boils down to the same thing, self-discipline. You are trying to create a new habit after all.

Dealing with office politics is a totally different proposition altogether, because we can only control how we react to it, not the complete situation. Most of us tend to get caught up in various situations that get blown out of proportion. We’re emotional beings and sadly we seem to have lost the ability to deal with our emotions correctly. Of course our ego has to get most of the blame for this, but that’s a book all on its own.

I would love to know how many hours have been lost due to the effect of office politics. We argue over issues which should be resolved quite easily, the arguments affect our fellow workers and they are unable to do their work efficiently, someone tries to undermine someone else by sabotaging a project, all in an effort to get ahead. The stuff you see in the movies actually does happen, sad but true.

“By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination.” – Christopher Columbus

At home I believe there are also two major distractions, television and tomorrow.

There is usually a list of chores to be done, some people agree with this method, some don’t, personally, if I didn’t have a list, things would never get done. I can’t remember all the chores. But we usually look at the list, walk past the TV…., and switch it on, just to see if there is anything interesting on. And there usually is, I mean, the mating habits of the common house fly sure beats any chore. And then there is the list of soap operas and mini series. We somehow feel that if we miss an episode our lives will become meaningless.

Hence the other distraction, tomorrow. I’ll do it tomorrow, and before you know it a whole month of tomorrows has passed us by, never to be seen again. I am writing from experience here, I am just as guilty as everyone else when it comes to procrastination.

“Any occurrence requiring undivided attention will be accompanied by a compelling distraction.” – Robert Bloch

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depends on whether you’re a half empty or half full person, the remedy to all distractions is self-discipline. And depending on where we want our life to go will determine our level of self-discipline.

Next week I will be writing about something very close to my heart and will hopefully be getting back on track with where I want my articles to go, I feel like I have veered off course slightly…, sorry about that!

Taking a break…

Me and my boy, Adam, Eerste Rivier, 23 October 2009

I am supposed to be writing about distractions, but with all that’s been happening in my life I had a welcome distraction, I went away for the weekend with my family and some great friends. So I’ll be writing that article later in the week.

After writing my last article I went hunting for a journal. It seems journal writing is considered more of a female thing to do, there were plenty of journals for woman, but none for men. So I thought I would create my own, non gender specific journal. I’ll keep you posted on that little project…

Before I write my next article, a quick question, what do YOU think is the biggest distraction in YOUR life at the moment?

Planning

Walking Tyson, Sardinia Bay, 09 October 2009

“He who fails to plan, plans to fail.” – Proverb

Last week I mentioned I was going to try and help you develop habits to utilize your time more effectively. The first, and most important habit we are going to try and develop is the habit of planning, and I don’t mean long term planning, I mean daily planning.

Before I carry on, I just need to share something I have noticed over the past few years.

Most of us humans really do complain a lot, and it is getting worse all the time. We complain we don’t have enough time, we don’t have enough money, and it seems we actually like complaining. When I ask people what they are doing about their situation, they say they don’t know what to do, so I suggest a few things and guess what, the excuses start flowing. It seems we want everything done for us, which really confuses me. How are we supposed to experience life if everything is done for us?

So if you want to take control of your life and stop complaining all the time, here is what I believe is the first step on the road to recovery.

“Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now” – Alan Lakein

I have never been good at any planning, I don’t think I have actually planned anything properly in my life. Of course I have planned things, but it has always been in my head, which is not the correct way. We might think we are really gifted that we can plan things in our head, but that is not a gift, it is just plain lazy.

So let’s get to the practical stuff. Most of us have a personal/ home life, and a business / work life. So the best suggestion I can make is to get a journal for your personal life and a diary for your business life. We’ve all heard of a diary, but a journal? I also scoffed at the idea of getting a journal, but to be successful we need to do what successful people are doing, so I’m off to get one later.

Firstly let me explain journaling. When we wake up in the morning most of us have a routine, so we need to fit 5 minutes into that routine to write in our journal, and all we need to do is write one or two things down. I call them intentions. They can be broad or specific. Broad – “I intend to have a great day today.” Specific – “I intend to go to gym after work and have a great workout.” Why do we need to write these intentions down? Accountability. Before we go to bed at night, we open our journal and we can see what our intentions were for the day, and then we can see if our day was successful or not. And before we call it a day and go to sleep I suggest we write a bit about our day, just write down two things you are really grateful for, and one thing that upset you. I’ll explain more about night time journaling in another article.

When we get to work, most of us have a cup of tea coffee and then dive right into the day, and usually the day becomes chaotic. Want to have a more relaxed day? We need to start planning our day. It takes 10 minutes, and the 10 minutes could save us an hour or two later. Write down all the tasks we want to complete in the day, and we need to be realistic about our own abilities, trying to cram too much into one day will not help us achieve good results. And remember to allow time for the unexpected. Next we need to prioritize our tasks, and we MUST NOT do all the quick and easy tasks first. We need to split our tasks into long term and short term tasks and assign a value to each task. What tasks, if completed today will add value to our business / company, and what tasks are part of a long term plan to add value to our business / company. And what tasks, if NOT completed today will do damage to our business / company. If you are unsure about which tasks are more important, please discuss them with your boss, NEVER assume anything.

Now, and only now are we ready to start working. Once we have successfully completed each task, write down the time it was completed, and if it took more than an hour to complete, take a five minute break before tackling the next task.

This may or may not seem easy to you, but don’t judge it until you have tried it. In the beginning it might be a bit difficult, but don’t give up, it is just as tough to create a new habit as it ease to break an old one. And remember, we need to believe we can achieve what we write in our journal and diary otherwise all it becomes is a writing exercise.
“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France

To my readers who are going to try and develop this new habit with me, please share your progress. Together I’m sure we can achieve far more than as individuals.

Next week I’ll be writing about how we waste our precious time and how we seem to sabotage our own efforts to develop new habits.

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ” – Jeremiah 29:11

Time

“Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.” – Jim Rohn

Time seems to be the one thing people complain about the most. Either that or we just use it as an excuse all the time.

To show you how fast time goes by, here is a recent photo of my pride and joy. He is now 6 months old, can you believe it! And 4 months ago I was writing about how he was teaching me some valuable lessons. Read that article here.

As Adam gets older he is going to be needing more of the one thing I can’t create, my time. We all  get 24 hours in a day, it’s how we use it that makes us successful or not.

For the next few weeks I’ll be writing about the one thing very few of us do, but the one thing we should all be doing. Utilizing our time more effectively. I am not the most successful at managing my time effectively, but if I want to be a good parent I had better start improving it, and fast. If you are not a parent, don’t worry, what I’ll be sharing you can apply to your work life as well.

It all starts with changing old habits and creating new habits, and maybe even getting rid of some ‘bad’ habits. And just like any habit, it takes time to develop, but most of us are impatient, so we give up before the habit has fully developed. More about this, and more next time.

So until next time, use your time wisely, because once it’s gone, you can’t get it back!

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.” – Harvey MacKay

Free will

“Man is a being with free will; therefore, each man is potentially good or evil, and it’s up to him and only him (through his reasoning mind) to decide which he wants to be.” – Ayn Rand

I have always been fascinated by the topic free will. I have had numerous conversations with many people, my very first article I ever wrote was even titled, Free Will, Gift or Curse? Please read it here.

Until recently I have always been a little bit confused about the whole concept, I understood the gist of it, but never grasped it completely. Fortunately in my quest to gain understanding, I was led to an interesting site where I was able to download an ebook which explained it to me in a way that I could understand. Below is the chapter, written by Thomas Herold. If you would like to explore what the site has to offer and how it can enrich your life, please click here.

A Spiritual Viewpoint of Free Will

I found the following example on one of the exciting audio books from Fred Alan Wolf. Fred Alan Wolf is a physicist and a spiritual seeker, and has dedicated his whole life to the quest of what consciousness truly is.

Imagine that you are sitting on a red elephant. The red elephant symbolizes your higher self, your source, or whatever word you have for it. As you direct your life you tap the elephant on his right ear and the elephant goes right. If you tap him on the left ear he goes left. This is our basic understanding of free will. I decide this and then this happens. It all works fine as long as the elephant goes in the direction you want him to go. However the problem and frustration starts when the elephant turns in another direction – not the one you have chosen.

Here we find ourselves in the realm of hypothesis and speculation:

• Maybe you did something wrong
• Maybe God doesn’t want you to take this path
• Maybe you are just not strong enough

The rationalizations we come up with are endless.

What happens on a spiritual level of understanding is the following: The elephant – your higher self – sends you a signal he wants to go right. That could be your intuition, for
example. You receive this signal and you align with it and tick the elephant’s right ear. Whenever you hear the signal and you follow it, you are absolutely in alignment with your
higher self, your source, your infinite power.

Is this still free will you may ask? Yes, it is, as it is still you who is giving yourself the signal.

This is very profound and powerful concept when you truly understand it. All that it takes to operate your life on this level is to explore your consciousness and understand that it is infinite, that it is the ultimate source of your being.

• You are not your mind
• You are not your feelings
• You are not your body
• You are not your thoughts

You are infinite potential; your true essence is beyond space and time. You are everything and nothing at the same time. You were never born and you will never die. You are the spirit
that is shared with every other living form on this planet. You have access to anything and everything you wish to have.

In Summary:
Understand that when you begin to work with your inner or true self, you open yourself to higher levels of exercising your free will. After all your inner work, things may not manifest as you wish. Relax and learn to go with the flow. Your true self is always in alignment with what is best for you. Your free will provides the general direction you want to go, but not the actual means to get you there.